12 February 2007

Messianic Siimplex

Recently Meatiocrity received two unique visitors searching, separately, for a cure and a treatment for a messianic complex. Fortunately for these two readers, supply rises to meet demand, and I have both. First, let's examine the issue, then move on to a prescribed course of action in fixing a messianic complex.

First, you'll noticce the problematic language involved. It's called a messianic complex. Second, the fact that you're looking for either a cure or treatment for it betrays the likelihood that you also have an enormous guilt complex (italics mine). That's two complexes, a whole lot of stress, self-medicating for the self-loathing, and hardly any good times. And what we all need are good times.

WIlliam of Occam, long before Gillette released its multi-bladed monstrosities on us, had a razor. It states the the simplest explanation is probably the best and most accurate. So, how do we cut down two complexes? Is there a way to shave off some of that extra stress and create a clean, trim image for ourselves?

Yes. Yes there is.

Rather than that pesky messianic complex and equally irritating guilt complex, what you'll want to aim for is a messianic simplex, and trust me, it's the only kind of simplex you want to have. A messianic simplex removes all the troublesome thinking involved in having a messianic complex. You don't think you're a messiah; you really are one, and the paradigm thereof. A person with a messianic complex presumes to be sent by the Divine. A person with a messianic simplex presumes to actually be a god: an everyman's god. A messianic complex is unrealistic. A messianic simplex is perfectly adapted to life in this modern world.

The first thing to do in making your messianic complex into a messianic simplex is to cultivate a good amount of narcissicism, some arrogance, and the presumption that you are more capable to handle your life than anyone else, especially God. In fact, there's a good chance you should be handling others' lives, especially God's, as he is, in your estimation, a little too forgiving.

Second, did you hear that criticism? If you have a messianic compelx, you might think it's directed at your ultimate mission. Suppress that kind of thinking at once! That criticism is directed at you, and it's important to take it seriously and personally.

Finally, if you've got a messianic complex, you'll constantly shrug off opposing viewpoints by saying only a few elect will understand you. An important step— and sometimes the most difficult— in changing that complex to a simplex, is to start trying to please and appease everyone around you while resenting them for not mindlessly fulfilling your every whim. If that seems difficult, keep in mind that while your superiority should be obvious and your will foremost in every mind, you are, after all, really a good person at heart.

1 comment:

tomtastic said...

man, i'm so inlightened. the great thing is that i've always wanted a House-like sage to guide me in my self-dissposition of being a god. all-be-it a small 'g' god... except when i'm at the beginning of a sentence, in which case... more jealousy and razing is certainly in order!