19 May 2008

It's Not Stealing if You Pretend God Likes It

Bad news Randy, Paula, and Simon— your show, American Idol, has officially jumped the shark. It may already have, that's up for debate, but the time has come when the Christian sub-culture has caught up with you and decided your premise is both sufficiently inoffensive and sufficiently lame to be coated with a thin veneer of shallow spirituality.

Their names are not as big (at least, according to the world), but at least they didn't break a commandment in naming their show. Which reminds me, how come you guys haven't debuted that singing (and dancing!) golden calf I've heard so many rumors about?

Next in American Christianity's inability to innovate: moving in on Grand Theft Auto with an expansive, allegedly non-linear game where the player hands out tracts and burns their secular music, all while obeying all traffic laws and praying aloud for forgiveness for everyone who cuts them off. Almost as much fun, and less killing hookers. Except the ones who have brought God's wrath on themselves because of their filthy lifestyle.

1 comment:

Mel said...

It looks like Idol only sprung for one requisite black guy. The Christians got two! A feather in their cap.

However, the Christian version of Paula's only claim to fame and the title of "celebrity" is that she was the first white chick to win a Best new Artist trophy at the Stellar awards. Black eye for the Christians.
Do you suppose that Christian Paula will clap like a seal like the non-Christian, and therefore not suitable for Christian eyes, Paula? I think not. Perhaps a simple hand raised to the Lord would be enough.