28 May 2008

Suck It Monkeys, I'm Gettin' Saved!

I kind of like being a bit of an asshole. Imagine my joy— no, I'll just tell you, I was pretty damn joyful— to find out that I could still be an asshole after we meet the Lord in the air at the Rapture. And when I say we, I mean just the obnoxiously self-righteous.

At You've Been Left Behind, you can leave a message for your loved ones after you've shuffled off this mortal coil to be with God in some kind of un-shuffle-off-able immortal coil, whatever that means. Sure, you could say how much you miss them and love them, but why not do what you've been doing all your life: reminding them how much better you you are than them.

And just in case that's not enough inspiration for you, the creators of the site have some helpful resources available for use. Apart from links to the Bible (undoubtedly the servers on which the files are stored will be left behind in perfect working condition), these resources consist mainly of ridiculously long emails. Even the shit-displacing disappearance of Christians worldwide cannot interrupt your long-windedness.

Personally, I'd go with something a little more concise.


Scottish said...

Brilliant post :)

Bob Hartman said...

I like the "Rapture triggered E-mail system"--these computer programmers must be really, really good!