25 June 2008

At Least the New York One Has a Good Theme Song

Allow me to explain why I love CSI (pick whichever variety you prefer). Sometimes, I don't want to do anything, but I also want to television to be on. Because CSI offers the right kind of drama (predictable), the right kind of dialogue (blunt, thoughtless, and again, predictable), and the right kind of acting (bland).

Essentially, CSI is the show to watch when you want to watch nothing. When nothing is on tv, at least one of those shows will be CSI, and it will be the one I chose. Because it took so little thought to make CSI, it takes less then no thought to watch it.

And I don't mean this as a criticism. Lots of people put lots of thought into making shows that take no thought to watch. It's television. If you want to be high brow about it, you have to pay for it, either by buying particular channels, or getting your complimentary tote bag from PBS.

CSI, on the other hand, has either discovered, derived, or stolen the perfect television formula. They don't have to be smart, just sound smart. And when I want to watch tv and not think about it (which is most of the time), I don't want to be distracted by someone trying hard to be smart.

On the other hand, I don't want to be distracted by someone trying to be shallow, like on reality tv. People who try to be shallow aren't shallow, they're fucked up, and it makes me mildly interested in them. The point is to be shallow, and the best way is to try to be smart, and it's what CSI does best.

And it occurs to me as I write this that CSI was the inspiration for a new major at the college I used to attend. Education is great.

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