17 July 2008

And Hello to You


I recently acquired a Panama hat. It was given to me by a friend of mine who is Dominican. He had been given the hat by a red-haired Canadian woman who thought it was something he might wear, which it isn't. It's possible that she assumed his Caribbean heritage was sufficiently Panamanian, even though Panama hats are traditionally made in Ecuador and only shipped through Panama.


The whole history of this particular hat is made of non sequiturs, which helps explain the next part of its story, which may or may not be entirely true. Recently, while walking into a Wegmans supermarket wearing the hat, a woman leaned out of a large silver limousine and yelled at me that she liked it. She was also pretty drunk. Neither of these facts bothered me. Her friend popped just as far out the window and showed her appreciation for my Panama hat by waving a large black dildo at it.


And actually, this didn't bother me all that much either. I barely noticed at all. Being so minimally impressed by the occurrence is the reason I say this story may or may not be true, because the details are a little fuzzy. And while some people might point to this as a case of the further desensitization of our culture to all things sexual, I don't think that's the case here.


I'm not arguing that a dildo is somehow not intended as a sex-related object. It's primary— and indeed, only— function is as a sex toy. But in this context, I hardly noticed, but only because it seems perfectly natural that a drunk girl shouting out of a limousine at a man wearing a Panama hat would wave whatever happened to be nearby.


It's not overtly offensive or overtly sexy, it's just what you'd expect that type of person to do in that particular situation, even though the entire situation is a complete non sequitur. It never makes sense to wave sex toys in admiration of someone's attire, except that in this story, it makes perfect sense.


And I tell this story because life is sort of like it pretty much of the time. Not much of it seems to make much sense. It's all non sequiturs, but in a weird way, it's completely reasonable. That said, I admit that the situation was awkward. Under normal circumstances, it's often expected to give a compliment in return, but in this case, all I could think to say was "thanks."

2 comments:

Cathy said...

thanks, tyler

Ely Vasquez said...

I thoroughly enjoyed this sequence of events.