01 September 2008

The Not-Very Political Post: The Anti-Cheney

Of all the people you might expect to be classified as an Anti-Cheney, who was the first to jump into your head?

Was it Sarah Palin, the risky under-experienced GOP veep pick from Alaska?

Was it Joe Biden, an almost perfect Democratic doppelganger of our snarling sub-command-in-chief?

Was it Barack Obama, the effervescent upstart Democrat whose rhetorical insistence on being a sort of neo-Kennedy indicates the possibility of his implementing the same atmosphere on Capitol Hill Cheney reacted so strongly against in the first place?

Was it John McCain, of all people, the Maverick whose media openness is a sharp contrast from Cheney's secrecy?

Was it E) none of the above?

The Anti-Cheney I'm thinking of is Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. And it's not because of some left-over Cld War sentiment in which Putin might be a dirty Commie bastard. It's because once upon time, both Putin and Cheney went into the woods and on returning, had shot something.

The difference, of course, is that Cheney had shot a dude in the face, and not in a macho, action-hero way. Evidently it was accidentally. Even if it wasn't, it was lame, and the only reason we liked him even remotely more after the incident is because it was such a comedy gold mine.

Putin, on the other hand, shot an endangered tiger with a tranquilizer in order to save a television crew. So, points for shooting something. Points for it not being your friend. Points for saving lives. Points for actually not killing an endangered species. Points for helping measure its fucking fangs afterward. Basically, points all around.

Now, I agree that both these guys are basically dickheads. That's a given. But one of them is decidedly more awesome. Sadly, it's not the one which would make America proud. Fair play to you, former Soviet Union.

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