27 February 2009

Clichés

Sometimes people use clichés or idioms, and I suppose that's fine if you want people to think you've never had any unique thoughts of your own. But, recently, I heard someone say "If life gives you lemons," which is not only not a full sentence, but not really enough information. Below, for the ease of the reader, I have provided some possible conclusions to the above sentence so that the use of clichés and idioms which has so enriched our history may continue into the future.

If life gives you lemons, throw them at someone until you feel better.

If life gives you lemons, it is not necessary, but a thank you note is always appreciated.

If life gives you lemons, please turn them over to the authorities as they may be contraband imported illegally from a foreign country.

If life gives you lemons, see if you can trade them for some tangerines.

If life gives you lemons, it may be a sign to finally get your fledgling juggling career going.

If life gives you lemons, politely inquire as to what exactly life expects you to do with all these lemons.

If life gives you lemons, they may prove to be difficult to transport home.

If life gives you lemons, give them right back. You do not need more lemons.

Please feel free to disseminate any of these as pithy folk wisdom however you see fit.

1 comment:

tommy hawkins said...

if life gives you lemons does that mean that life is more likely to live in springfield or shelbyville?

ps i actually have a blog again. so read it.