15 February 2009

True Facts About Rod Blagojevich's Hair

The following are some true facts about former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich's hair. You may want to take note as these can be helpful both on trivia night at British and British-style pubs, and also in making uncomfortable conversation with your stylist.

Rod Blagojevich's hair contains the following: three pounds of pomade, an entire can of hair spray, a family of grey squirrels, a rival family of red squirrels, six Cheetos, a lost sock and no less than seventeen acorns, although these are only the ones the squirrels have not yet found.

Rod Blagojevich's hair is a Virgo, enjoys white wine spritzers, is both driven and easy-going, dislikes haters and is, ironically, sick of games.

Rod Blagojevich's hair is the only known substance capable of withstanding one of Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks. It is not, however, capable of withstanding two consecutive Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.

It is a common joke, but Rod Balgojevich's hair does not have its own zip code. The suggestion is patently absurd.

Although Rod Blagojevich has been banned from public office in Illinois, his coiffure has not, and was, in fact, under consideration for Barack Obama's vacant Senate seat.

Rod Blagojevich's hair requires just under three hours to be properly and safely removed so that the former governor can pull his shirt over his head.

Finally, Rod Blagojevich did not always posses his current mane. However, we discover the true source of his pilary powers in The Amazing Ex-Governor #27 in which he is bitten by a radioactive toupee.

I hope that you find these facts about Rod Blagojevich's hair informative and interesting. I have certainly enjoyed sharing them with you. I encourage you to comb through them, to pick out some of your favorites, and learn to recite them in your own style as they can be quite popular at parties. Lastly, please keep in mind that these facts are entirley true and not made up in anyway whatsoever and are in no way exhaustive.

2 comments:

D'Angelo B said...

Thanks, I appreciate the enlightenment.

Andrei said...

Blagojevich's hair is a pompadour.