09 February 2010

How to Dehumanize Your Workers

Look around. Do you see underlings? If not, you probably are one, and if so, my condolences.

Suppose you did just see some underlings. What are they doing? Laughing? Discussing LOST? Enjoying their jobs? Achieving personal goals and developing in their careers? If so, you have a real morale problem on your hands and you need to do something about it.

Of course, different bosses employ different strategies and invest tremendous amounts of time and energy to make their employees feel stuck in their jobs with no hope of future prospects. Some supervisors set ridiculous expectations, some are outright demeaning. Many attempt to exasperate their subordinates with menial tasks or by switching policies constantly. But there are a few simple step you can take to remind your employees just how worthless their lives really are.

By now, you should have realized that you can save water by installing sensor flush toilets. If you haven't yet, get them installed right away. They have the advantage of terrifying those who are unused to them upon first use.

Next, print up a sign that says "Please flush toilet!" Tape it up on the door inside every stall. You're done!

Whether they recognize it consciously or not, your employees will be reminded every time they do their business that they are being told to do a job and being beaten to it by a toilet. And not just any toilet, the one which is at that very moment disposing of the mess they created. There is nothing more subtly demotivational than this. Make the change today.

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