09 January 2012

Things I Learned After One Day of Being 29

1. People fucking love to wish other people a happy birthday on Facebook. I'm not terribly big on birthdays or birthday wishes, and people say Facebook's so impersonal; it's not as good as a card. But when I find out 50+ people wrote on my wall, that's pretty cool. If only they'd all also sent cash.

2. You can eat a lot of sandwiches in an hour. To be more accurate, you can eat a lot of creative, interesting sandwiches with funny names in an hour. Like one called "Kermit's Delight" because it contains prosciutto and cantaloupe (that is, a pig with melons), or a meatloaf club, or a dessert PB&J made with cake instead of bread. Basically, sandwiches— and more specifically, friends who make sandwiches— rock me like a hurricane. A tasty, slightly less sloppy hurricane. But only slightly.

3. Teenagers have no concept of tipping, how to place an order, how to stand in line, how to clean up after themselves, or how to lower their voices. I knew all this before, I just wanted to bitch about it again. In most other contexts, I'm sure I'd like a few of them. In this case, the best I can hope for them is that grow into passably polite adults whose unreflecting fear of mild social sleights forces them to feel enough guilt to give me a dollar when I make them a goddamn drink.

4. Fezzes are cool.

5. Find creative, interesting people who challenge you to be more interesting and creative yourself, all while letting you be yourself and who you're becoming. If you can trust someone to do that, they're a friend. Everyone else is just someone you happen to know.

6. There is no number 6.

7. The risk to try to be amazing outweighs the safety of being mediocre, and living in the chaos at the boundary between creation an destruction is better than off in the well-ordered safe area where nothing ever happens. So if you're looking for a birthday or New Year's resolution from me, it's to commit more, to risk more, to be more vulnerable, and given those three things, to be more amazing.

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