30 April 2012

What I Assume Songs Mean Based on Their Titles Because I Never Bothered to Learn the Lyrics

Tuesday's Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd: A man is disappointed to find he has purchased a defective calendar.

Where the Streets Have No Name by U2: A man is frustrated due to a display bug affecting his vehicle's on-board GPS navigation system.

Aqualung by Jethro Tull: A public service announcement regarding the dangers posed to the elderly by pneumonia.

Oye Como Va by Santana: The title being an anagram for "Ova Come, Yo," a girl reflects on her first experience of menstruation.

All Day and All of the Night by The Kinks: An educational song to help children learn about circadian rhythms.

I Want to Hold Your Hand by The Beatles: A normally distant father dying of pancreatic cancer reaches out to his estranged son.

If 6 Was 9 by Jimi Hendrix: A man's frank admission of his struggle with dyscalculia.

The Boys Are Back in Town by Thin Lizzy: A group of friends are excited to learn the Beach Boys reunion tour includes a concert nearby which they will be able to attend.

Just Like a Woman by Bob Dylan: An individual looks forward to their upcoming male-to-female gender reassignment surgery.

We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister: A family argues with an aggressive door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman.

Every Breath You Take by The Police: A gentle love song from the perspective of a doting lover in the midst of a blissful, committed, long-term relationship.

Low Rider by War: A man is excited to have purchased a new style of jeans that will finally allow him to show off his lower back tattoo.

You're So Vain by Carly Simon: About how self-absorbed I can get when I go off my meds.